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GRIEF & LOSS COUNSELING

My passion for Grief & Loss work began almost two years ago while working as an intern at a women's recovery program here in San Diego. There I ran a weekly Grief & Loss group. It was then that I learned that grieving was about much more than death - it was about a loss and/or change of anything that was honorable and/or dear to you:

A person or relationship (death, divorce, break-up, move, etc.)
Time (due to procrastination, addiction, depression, etc.)
Health (illness, loss of body part/use, etc.)
Childhood Innocence
Childhood Trauma
Self-respect
Pride
A home
A job
Your past

Using an integration of the Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief (DABNA) and Dr. Barry Green's Holistic methods, I developed a Grief & Loss healing process that is designed to:

- Acknowledge what you have lost,
- Connect to how it has affected your beliefs about yourself, life, and the world, and
- Consciously heal what is naturally coming up inside of you.

In brief, the 5 Stages of Grief are:

1. DENIAL
2. ANGER
3. BARGAINING/BLAMING
4. DEPRESSION/SADNESS
5. ACCEPTANCE/RESOLUTION

Most of the time when we have lost something - or when something has changed - we are unaware of these stages; of what we need, or how to take care of those needs.

A loss can bring confusion and lack of motivation. It can bring bitterness, resentment, and sadness. It can cause us to want to "pretend" or "forget" it ever happened. Sometimes it can bring all of those feelings at once.

It is common to fluctuate between the different stages. Through the Grief & Loss work that we do together, you will be able to:

- Be conscious of which stage you are in,
- Be conscious of what's happening and what you're feeling
- Experience congruent and practical methods/exercises to work through those feelings,
- Learn what you need specifically to take care of yourself during your grieving process, and
- Get to the final stage of ACCEPTANCE/RESOLUTION.

Through my experience, one of the strongest stages is of BARGAINING/BLAMING.It is a very debilitating and frustrating stage as people tend to try to go into the past and either bargain or blame about how things could have been done differently. This is where most people tend to get stuck. It can feel helpless and overwhelming. It is natural to look to someone to blame, or to play the "What if..." game. Sometimes you blame and punish yourself. It is at this point that methods of "release work" is used.

This is when the integration of holistics and traditional therapies is very powerful: Release work. Release work is using your voice and body to express thoughts and feelings in a safe and dynamic way. There are many different methods - all of which are designed to allow you to experience and process out whatever is needed. This has a mental, emotional, and physical effect on a person. It can also sometimes have a spiritual effect.

When we feel angry, stressed, hurt, scared - any imbalance - we do not just hold it in the mind. We hold it in the heart, stomach, neck, throat, shoulders, etc. Hence, incorporating both mind and body modalities and practices allows you to truly work through your loss in a holistic, profound way.

All it takes is a desire to heal. And sometimes all it takes is DISCOMFORT. I have found that the more uncomfortable a person is, the more motivated they are for change.

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