HEALING CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

I specialize in healing childhood trauma and learnings that may be causing adults to feel depressed, anxious, and/or overall blocked from living a fulfilling life. I do this through the 5 Stages of Healing, a holistic process created by Dr. Barry Green. I have chosen this path not only because of the specific training I have done, but mainly because of my own healing.

GRIEVING Childhood Trauma

It is my feeling that almost all childhood trauma can heal through a holistic grief process. Using an integration of the Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief (DABNA) and Dr. Barry Green's Holistic methods, I developed a Grief & Loss healing process to support you in truly moving through the pain.

As children of childhood trauma, you learn defense mechanisms in order to protect yourself. Sometimes it is humor, sarcasm, acting out, isolation, or something that allows you to exist with the pain, shame, hurt, and anger that is created as a result of the trauma. This defense mechanism turns into a numbing process, almost a false sense of latency, where you almost "forget" or are "over" the trauma.

This is usually the first stage of the Kubler-Ross' 5 Stages of Grief: DENIAL.

At some point in life, survivors of childhood trauma may hit a threshold - where you can no longer deny the pain you experienced. This is usually when you will start to feel the other stages of grief (anger, blame, sadness).

Most likely, here is the place you will want to seek support.

CONNECTING the Childhood Trauma to Adulthood

When trauma is not healed, it will usually show itself in adulthood in different ways: relationships, career, self-worth, choices, etc. Any type of trauma can create negative or dysfunctional old learnings. Basically, the old learning is carried into present life and usually stays with you until:

1) You gain awareness that the negative message is there, and
2) You take the steps to unlearn it and relearn what is true and healthy for you.

What is an OLD LEARNING?

An old learning is a message or story about who you are, what you deserve, and life in general. They are called old learnings based on the belief that we are not born with these messages. Rather they are learned based on our experiences, allowing you to trust that they can be unlearned and more positive, healthy messages can be learned.

For example, if a child is physically abused they may learn the following:

- You are not lovable
- You are not good enough
- Your feelings are not important
- Don't trust other people

From my experience, an old learning can be created as a result of either following or purposely going against an old learning you saw in a person when you were a child (parent, guardian, brother, sister, etc).

For example, if you watched your mother keep her feelings inside you may either learn to "Keep Your Feelings Inside" as well, or you may rebel and do the complete opposite, making it a point in your life to "Express Your Feelings".

Usually once you become aware of the old learning there is natural pendulum swing from being in the old learning, and then completely rebelling against it. For example: If the old learning is "Not Good Enough", when buying into the old learning a person may appear down, depressed, and actual have thoughts and feelings of worthlessness (passive). When the person rebels against the old learning of "Not Good Enough", they swing to the opposite and and get angry, hostile, and determined to prove and make sure people know they are indeed good enough (aggressive).

The overall goal of the 5 Stages of Healing is to find the balance between buying into and rebelling against the old learnings. In essence, being able to own what is true for you (I am good enough) in a grounded and healthy way.

RELEASING the Childhood Trauma (and the Old Learnings)

Most emotional traumas are held in the body. This is especially true when the trauma was also physical or sexual. This is primarily where the holistic process comes in - releasing the trauma emotionally and physically, using various exercises and methods with the body and mind.